Anal Sex: Nature’s Magnificent Equalizer

June 18th, 2012 // 1:24 pm

Ladies and gentlemen, let us all raise our butts in salutation to equality. Finally, there is no gender conflict. There is no sexual orientation. Sexual prejudice has evaporated in the warm and gentle night air as we kneel in rows with our thighs spread wide and our anus’s winking to the stars. Let no man or woman be left asunder. But if you must consider dividing men and women into parts, take a moment to watch that couple walking hand-in-hand down the street toward you. Listen up men; there is a 50% chance that your anus will look more like hers than his. More importantly, it is as likely that he will enjoy foreign objects stuffed up his bum as much as she. And, it is just as likely that he will not.

Often we are asked what single factor stands out in our eleven years of servicing the sexual desires of women, men and couples. In over three-thousand sessions with clients aged 25 to 83 if there is a single lesson it is: With sex we are all different. And the difference within each individual constantly evolves; what he/she loves today might make her/him very uncomfortable tomorrow.  Great lovers of the world soon learn that greatness comes from finding the individual longing to be found inside the moment. Of all sexual activities, the most consistently different and forever changing is anal sex. A forever challenge for the greatest of lovers, anal sex represents the Eternal Virgin. Each session of anal sex must be approached as if it is the receiver’s first. And more importantly the provider must become, over and over again, the gentlest of all Nature’s creations.

The concept that the more we know the less we understand is perhaps an exaggeration regarding anal sex but it has an element of truth. The human mind can find reason to go where reason tells it to stay away. There are far more reasons to avoid anal sex than to indulge it. But there are many reasons to seek adventure, and all adventurous lovers will inevitably try some form of anal sex. Mature, sophisticated lovers are adventurous and enjoy anal sex both passively and assertively. Isn’t this thought a contradiction? Can turning the anus into a plaything be considered remotely mature?

First we need to understand that the anus is a very complex organ. It is not designed like a mouth or a vagina that encourages objects to enter. Its purpose is to keep material locked inside; this is governed by involuntary nerves that control two groups of muscles along the sides of the anus. When the area (rectum) above the anus is full it sends impulses to the central nervous system that stimulate a voluntary control of these muscles. Then it’s up to you to decide when to rush home to relax and push. The point to understand for anal sex is that the anus is stimulated to relax from pressure above and inside, not from misplaced objects poking from outside because they are temporarily bored with mouth and vagina. But there is reason to learn how to relax those muscles to allow anal insertion. The nerves just inside the anus are exquisitely sensitive; especially when stimulated along with their incredibly close neighbors, the sex organs.

The only sincere way to understand what it feels like for your lover is to feel it for yourself. There is one thing for certain, whether you are gay, bi or straight, your lover and you both have an anus. We recommend latex gloves and ultimate cleanliness as you begin to practice on each other. Ladies, if your boyfriend says he doesn’t like things poked up his ass never consider allowing him to jam his penis inside your anus. He must know, personally, what it feels like and not think he is an expert because he read a how-to article by an author who designed a book on anal sex for the sole purpose of helping men seduce women by describing a lady who loves it. There are exceptions but we have found that most men who want to perform anal sex on their female lovers are hoping that their girlfriend will eventually do it to him as he relaxes on his knees with bum held high. OK, so we have latex gloves, lubricants, three or four dildos varying from the smallest available to the largest of around six inches. And the most important tools will be your sensitive little fingers.

It is, after all, the artistry of touch that makes a lover great. Playing together with that gentle artist’s touch as you lightly massage genitals, buttocks and tickle that puckered little nasty bit that begs your fingers to be as gentle as a kitten’s tongue. Lying side-by-side you are both relaxed and waiting for that intense moment when you share the tip of a finger within each other’s anus. Go slow and feel as you guide your intensity by what you’re feeling yourself. This is truly fun. And most people find it very relaxing. Take your time until, with middle finger fully engaged, you feel those internal sphincter muscles relax inside your lover. There is no need for more fingers. Now take turns sitting between each other’s knees and inserting the smallest dildo. Men receive an extra charge from their prostate if you penetrate them while you masturbate them. It is one of the most common requests of male clients.

Penile-anal sex is an extremely intimate act that represents a constant variable. We consider that from all our clients 40% never learn to enjoy anal sex. Many quite literally hate it. Some think it is truly the best. Another figure: there will be a remnant of fecal material in at least 70% of sessions. These may be tiny but they are always reminiscent of their greater origin. Years ago we had a young client who came to us shortly after he split with his fiancé. A very attractive, well educated, personable fellow, he told us why he and his girlfriend separated. They tried anal sex. When he withdrew a rather large amount of fecal matter covered the head of his penis. He was shocked. She was horribly embarrassed. He told us that he truly felt they could never face each other again.